Goodbye, 200's!

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On a work-out date night with
my friend, Lindsey.

I was prepared for my weigh-in Tuesday morning.  It is a huge time of transition, and I must admit – I lost control the last couple of weeks.  I worked out hard, but I am hugely aggravated that, in a mentally and emotionally difficult time, I allowed myself to be comforted by indulging in food.  Well – and a few pretty magical craft beers.

I actually left the 200’s the week prior, but I didn’t want to commit to it because I knew that I’d messed it up.  I was certain.  So, I braced myself, stood on the scale, and to my complete surprise, I saw these numbers:

197.7

ONE HUNDRED ninety seven pointseven pounds…

I’m really not in the 200’s anymore…  My weight really starts with a 1…  Can you even remember the last time you were in the 1’s?  The smallest weight I can remember is 216.  You are really, really for real in the 1’s, Sarah.  You’re really still there.  That sounds…  Normal…

Things are changing; so many things both in and out of my control.  And while there are many different ways these things have manifested, I realized it all boils down to this: 

I am finally okay with being me.

“Why is this a problem?” you ask?  Because more than being content and confident in myself, I have this little voice inside my head telling me to “know my place.” 

“You can’t say you’re pretty, or go for that, or try this, or think great things are possible for you – be humble,” I hear from some cruel, bossy place within me.  That is not humility. That is confusion, doubt, and fear rearing their ugly head. There has been a big, mean battle within me, and I seem to pull no punches.

No more.  I’m done with the 200’s, and I’m done with this battle.

Eat my shorts, 200's.  I kick and I punch.

Here is what has begun to sink in over the last couple of weeks:

I am a beautiful, loveable, smart, confident person who absolutely adores people and life, and has a good head on her shoulders.  I have no reason to doubt myself.  I have no reason to not stick to my guns.  I have no reason to cower.  I have no reason to feel unworthy.  I never used to be this way, I never should have begun, and I am finished with it.  

Moving into the 100’s, I’ve got to tell you – it’s an interesting time.  It’s a little scary.  And sometimes it’s hard.  And sometimes I freak out a little bit because I’m in a transition between who I was for a while, who I am, and who I’m becoming.  

I like who I’m becoming.

From top left to bottom right:  Me at about 320lbs in January 2011, me at over 300lbs in March of 2011, then
me at 60, 70, 80, 90lbs, and 100lbs lost!

If you'd like to catch up on the big milestones since I've started this here blog, feel free to check these out!

Sixty, Shimxty: Another 10lb Benchmark Smashed.
70lbs - Gone To The Fishes.
81lbs Get The Boot.
30's, Here I Come: Gained a year, and lost 90lbs.
Lost 101 Pounds and Found Myself.

Readers, have you already gone through some of these changes or find yourself in an interesting time of transition, yourself?  I would really love to hear from you.  How are you doing?  How did you get through it?  What advice can you give the rest of us, or what advice do you need from others?  There’s a pretty great group of you out there with invaluable life experience, so let’s share.

This is How We Do It: Part 3 – You are what you eat.

My sincere apologies for the dire lack of posts recently! The first couple weeks of 2012 have been interesting.  Aside from life throwing me a few quite unpleasant curveballs, it’s also been a time of my body getting back to normal after the holidays.  Don’t get me wrong – I thoroughly enjoyed many wonderful things over the holidays!  Peanut butter balls, puppy chow, prime rib, candy, potatoes, wine, beer, cookies, cheeses…  These are just a few of the things I indulged in.  And, boy, could I tell. 

Holiday treats, you slay me!

It turns out that the holidays proved to be the perfect catalyst in showing me just how much my habits have changed, and how much better it makes me feel!  You really are what you eat. 

When I began the weight loss process, I really didn’t give much thought to what I ate. 

It’s there.

I’m hungry.

It’s yummy.

I ate it.

Now I’m not hungry. 

That was really yummy…

I’ll have some more, please.

That’s about it.  There really wasn’t much purpose or thought behind it.  If I was hungry, I ate.  Sometimes I ate things because I was in the mood for them and they’re super yummy.  Sometimes I ate things because they were just there and required no effort.  Sometimes I ate when I was bored and fidgety and didn’t even really realize. 

Well, try losing weight behaving like that.

A typical day for the old Sarah probably would have consisted of no breakfast, sometimes no lunch or whatever was quick and easy, snacking like crazy while preparing dinner because of being so hungry from not eating all day, then dinner.  My meals weren’t terrible all the time, but I do realize how a lot of my bad choices were from lack of preparation and convenience.  Hot dog & fries from next door?  Sure!  Burger from a few storefronts down?  Fine.  I didn’t realize until I started tracking things that even the salads I’d create at the market down the street were easily 500 calories.   I once unknowingly put almost 200 calories worth of sunflower seeds on my salad.  Granted, it was about a ¼ cup, but I just figured, “Hey – it’s healthy, right?”  Too much of a good thing is still too much, it would appear.

What changed? 

I was driving home one day after having had my oil changed.  I spend a little extra on my oil changes because I’ve got leaky gaskets, but spending a little extra on really thick oil and some other oily thingamajiggy sealy treatment thingy keeps me from having to spend $1000 on huge, bad things.  I got to thinking about it all, especially the oily thingamajiggy sealy treatment thingy, and then wondered, “Holy cow…  If my car will die on me without doing something as simple as getting the oil changed regularly, then what on earth am I doing to my body?!  What on earth could possibly go wrong inside of me simply because I’m not doing routine maintenance?”  I guess I realized that I was pretty much slowly, irresponsibly setting my body up to just quit on me.   And I didn’t want that to happen.

Now?

BREAKFAST!  Chobani (anything but Greek yogurt just leaves me hungry), Special K, Bagel Thin, banana...

Snack – string cheese, fruit, vegetables, hummus, pretzels, try to keep under 100 calories

Quinoa, cherry tomatoes, 1/2 an avocado, basil, 
and sliced garlic.

Lunch – Lean Cuisine, Top Chef Healthy Choice, sandwiches, salads

Snack – same idea as above…

Dinner – usually around 300 calories, varies from 200-400ish.  Veggies and fish are my favorite!  Usually meat, vegetables, grains like quinoa or cous cous, etc.  If I've got calories leftover, sometimes I'll have a low calorie dessert like sugar free instant pudding!

I know we’ve all heard it before, but it’s so right…  Eating breakfast every day and eating a little something every couple of hours has undoubtedly made a huge, huge difference.  The interesting things will come, like getting better at cooking and having your new go-to/on-the-go products…  It’s not just about what you eat, but how you eat.  The combination of those two things is powerful!  

Our bodies are worthy of good fuel!  Cars?  Maybe they die, but there are plenty to go around.  We’ve only got this one life to live, and my life is certainly worth a little bit of healthy, routine maintenance.