YO. Reality Check (one two, what is this?!)

So, you remember that on and off switch I mentioned a while back?  Well, I know I said that I was ready to turn the whole weight loss thing up a notch because I've been too casual about it lately.

That hasn't happened yet.  

Time for some honesty, people.  When I go quiet, it's because I'm ashamed.  And here is why.

I've been burning the candle from both ends and then once it was out, picked up the wax, melted it, stuck a piece of yarn in it to try and reuse it as a candle until eventually I was out of light and had acquired a pointless ball of waxy stuff.  I burned myself out, but it's been fun.  Downside?  I'm back up to 196lbs, peoples.  I was down to 188, but I've had a complete lack of self-control with food in the midst of all the fun I've had.  

I made myself take a break from freaking out and being so obsessive over losing weight.  I needed to lighten up and do a bit of living.  The problem is, I let myself go a little too far.  SWITCH - off.  I had such a good balance going around the beginning of July and got down to 188, but then started finding comfort in food when a lot of life changes began overwhelming me a bit.

What do do you when life comes at you from every which way?  I've freaked out a little bit, which I'm sure you can tell looking back at my more recent blogs.  Finding balance, questioning things, feeling defeated, losing focus - these things happen.  But, it sucks.  I got it together for a little while, but I'm still a bit flustered.  

In an effort to regroup, I've been reading up on some of life's biggest stress-causers.  Change, even great change, can throw you for a loop!  I'm still in mid-loop-throw, it would seem.  But, a good chat with your parents, some organization, and structure go a long way.

So, unless it involves some sweet, old-school hiphop, no buggin' out necessary.  

Holiday Test-Drive - Fail.

"That time of year..." has begun with Halloween.  The holidays bring along so many lovely little anomalies, lots of last-minute-fun-things, and - well, yes...  Basically a great big barrel of really fun inconsistencies.  Inconsistencies that apparently aided in me gaining 1lb this week. I've shared my successes with you, so it'd be remiss of me not to share in my stumbles as well.  I haven't been awful this week, but I haven't been as diligent as I should.  And I can tell I consumed too much sodium yesterday (puffy hands & feet...), but I'm not giving myself a pass.  It's funny though, because I feel smaller, and seem to look smaller as well.  All's I know is that it is not a case of a plateau, it is a case of "Sort it OUT, Sarah!"

I was really hoping that all of the dancing on Halloween would do the trick!  Some of my girlfriends and I dressed up and went to my favorite dance party around here done by my favorite local DJ's, Bat Guano and Richard Bowser. Our adorable little group consisted of Wonder Woman (me...), Twister (she made a dress out of the game!), Brigitte Bardot, a Hot Mummy, and the Infamous Honey Badger.  And we danced - BOY, did we dance.  ELO, David Bowie, Devo, Michael Jackson, Arthur Brown's Fire, great old school R&B - it is impossible to have a bad time with those guys at the wheel.

My hair was so much better approximately 2 hours earlier...  My
Wonder Woman costume was awesome.  Photos will surface soon.

I've got to figure out how to get a good balance of all of this, because this last week was not my most successful!  I was very busy.  I tried to work out, but I only did "proper" workouts about three times and did not log my food as dutifully as I usually do.  In retrospect, I have not logged my food as well as I should for a few weeks.

A few things I've noticed since beginning this process:

1.  I cannot lose weight without regularly exercising at least 4 times a week.  

2.  I have to log every little thing I consume.

3.  I do better when I plan for my grab & go lifestyle by having pre-made foods, snacks, etc. around the house that allow me to eat a little bit several times during the day.  

4.  I have had several times where I've maintained, but only two when I've gained, and the reason for this has never been my body playing tricks on me despite my hard work; it has always been a case of user error.  So far.

So if Halloween were to have served as my pre-test for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, it taught me that I need to have a game plan.  I need to come up with a structure for the unstructured - decide how I'm going to attack all the unforeseeable wonderfulness that will undoubtedly come my way in the coming months!  And I need to remind myself that it is perfectly acceptable to just say no.

The Wonder Woman in me is on a mission to lose four pounds this week to make up for gaining a pound, and then some! Wish me luck, and I hope you all had a very fun Halloween.