Fashionably Late-r than ever.

It has been over a year since we've chatted, readers.  I named my blog partly because of the fact that I am very much a late bloomer, and largely because I am almost always late.  Well...  Better late than never.

To try and catch you up with everything my mind, body, and heart have gone through and learned in the last year in one blog post would just be silly.  So where do we start?

The end.  The beginning of the end.  Or, well...  A new beginning.

This blog began when a late bloomer was asked by so many to share her weight loss story - of growth, of struggles, tips, advice, hope, inspiration, defeat, a fair few archaeological discoveries, and a handful of other things that became part of her life changing.  The pounds began to shed.  My mind and body became stronger.  Becoming part of a community of you all who have been, are going, or are about to go through it by sharing through this blog helped me accomplish great things.  It gave me accountability.  It helped me sort through the remarkable chaos that is my brain at times.  It gave me support, goals, and so many people who helped me succeed by becoming a part of my little journey.

But what happens when things aren't so great?

You stop writing in your blog for over a year.
You can't do a single push-up.
You can't plank for 3 minutes anymore.
That pilates video that was too easy now seems impossible.
You don't make healthy meals at home on the regular.
You eat thoughtlessly and have developed a sweet tooth.
Your clothes still fit, but where they once were up against 190lbs of lean, mean, muscle machine, they now slightly cut in to 205lbs of wiggly, wobbly, fluffiness.
You now look like you weigh 205lbs, whereas before, that 190lbs was a toned-up-almost-size-10.
That picture of you 2 years ago when you were healthier and happier than you've ever been is now more difficult to look at than a photo of you from 4 years ago when you could barely work out the logistics of which bathroom stall you'd fit into best.
You forget that you can once again ride roller coasters.
You forget that you can shop in pretty much any store you want, and you own clothes that legitimately fit and have the size Medium in them.
You forget that walking a 5k in less than 40 minutes is the usual.
You forget that you now opt to ride your bike to work, and then go on bike rides for 20 miles like it ain't no thing.
You forget that so many people who worried about you for so long, but loved you as you were, are still happy to see you living life in ways you kept yourself from living before.
You get annoyed that people who know you as you are don't realize where you've come from, but before, looked forward to the day when people didn't know you as you were, but just as you are now.
You forget that you've had so many new experiences that are possible because of how you chose to change your life.
You think you have pretty moments, but don't like yourself as much these days.
You see all the things you didn't do, didn't do as well as you wanted to, or did wrong - and you never think about all the things you did, did well, and did right.
You have the most colorful, varied, brilliant, distinctive, wonderfully ridiculous, perfectly peculiar, absurdly loving bunch of fictional characters that are your real-life friends.
You have little cousins that see you in your bathing suit and say, "Remember when you used to be fat?!"

I am flawed.  I haven't made the best choices.  I've stumbled.

I sometimes feel like a failure.

And then I remember.

I am an intelligent, talented, respected, beautiful person who loves people and is so very fortunate to be loved in return.  I have had my dream jobs.  I've lived in another country.  I have an amazing job at a Michigan craft brewery that has so much potential it's silly, and I work with a cluster of dynamic, passionate, driven, supportive people.  I've had little adventures that you think only happen in the movies, but really happen every day.  I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to.

I was Sarah Bauman who lost 123lbs, her life changed, then wound up a bit lost.

As of today, I'm Sarah Bauman who's lost zero pounds, is choosing to change her life again, and can see the path off to the left, but just needs to cut through some overgrown shrubbery and will be right back on it.

I'm a late bloomer for life.  Sometimes things take a little while.  But while I have life, I choose to accept that blooming late is better than never.

I'm back.  I've missed you all.  Here we go again.

A Firming Affirmation.

Lovely Generic Photo of Snap Fitness

I met someone on Thursday night.  It was all niceties and happy conversation at first, then I let them start bossing me around.  And it hurts a bit.

Yes, I had my first go-round with a personal trainer.  She set me up with a workout plan at the new Snap Fitness that popped up near where I live.

It.
Was...
AWESOME.

It kicked off with us having a chat about my regular workout habits, and discussing what I wanted to get out of it.  The girl who I worked with seemed to really, genuinely love doing this.  I can't remember verbatim, but when I told her how excited I was to get to do all this, she said how great it is to get to work with people who have that mindset.

She started asking me about my exercise habits and what I'd like to get out of the workout we came up with.  I told her I wanted to burn calories, get stronger, and that I'd noticed that I lost weight more when I was doing things that worked my muscles, too.  She seemed really pleased with my answer, and very happy that I understood that I needed more than cardio.  She said that it was great to have an understanding that working muscles was essential to making your body burn calories more efficiently all throughout the day.  I told her certain areas that I wanted to work on, and she happily said, "I've got you covered."   I really love how it became very apparent she'd realized the type of workouter (made up word, yes) I was by my answers to her questions.

Apparently, I'm quite strong, and she seemed happy about that, too.  She seemed very excited to have me try out some five station circuit training thing that she does on what I call "the jungle gym."  You know the thing I mean...  It's got the handles on ropes, and a pull up thingy, and dudes are always doing stuff at it grunting awkwardly loud...  I'll be on that, yep.  And, she's going to have me bench press.  Bench press!  Ha!

As for the workout, though, I basically warmed up with a bit of cardio, then she walked me through different machines that worked my arms, back, core, thighs, and glutes.  The plan is to warm up, work muscles, then get 30-50 minutes of cardio in.  It was really well-rounded, and it was very interesting to see what parts of my body are weaker than others.  It's so funny how muscles in what seems to be the same part of your body have such different strength.

Afterwards, I was a bit surprised that one of the most rewarding things about the experience was all of the affirmation I got about what I'd already been doing and my overall mindset and ideas about things.  It feels really good when someone who knows what they're doing confirms that you're on the right track.  She loved that I was the type to say, "I've just got to get in 30 minutes" but wind up doing 45.  She seemed pleased that I did the full 10 minutes of cardio when she said to warm up with 5-10.  There were quite a few things that I did during the workout that seemed to really impress her, and got her excited to find ways to push me later.  Which, of course, makes me want to push myself even more.

So, I did on Saturday morning.  My muscles were still pretty fatigued from Thursday, but I just had to get it in.  There were a few things that already seemed easier.  I was more sore while doing the exercises, but I feel less sore now than I did before I worked out.  How about that?  And it felt good, once again, to get some nice reactions from the trainer.

I have this problem with not listening to myself enough.  I hear so many different people's stories, ideas, opinions, tips, tricks, and suggestions.  And for some reason, I feel that if I don't do it, I'm somehow being ungracious or rude, even if it's something contrary to what I think or would like to do.  So it feels really, really great to get affirmation from people who are trained in things like fitness and healthy eating.  I need to listen to myself, and not be so darn afraid to stick to my guns.

And I need to work on my shoulders...  Those girls are weak.  For real.

I'm so giddy to go back again.  I can not wait.

70 Pounds - Gone to the Fishes.

I was hoping that I might hit 70 pounds when I weighed myself this week, but I wasn't planning on it.  I had 2 pounds to go, and couldn't tell if I'd hit my next 10lb benchmark.  Sure enough, I lost 3.2 pounds, which puts me at a total of 71.1 total pounds lost since mid-March.  I'm only 19 pounds away from losing 30 by the time I turn 30 on December 19th!  The funny thing is, I wasn't all that excited about it.  My reaction was more, "Ahhh, yes!  Good.  Now on to 80."  I hadn't thought about a reward of any kind.

The first time I purposely rewarded myself for my weight loss, I’d planned on getting sushi on the way home from church.  But just as I thought it, I was about to pass the Kalamazoo County Fairground and remembered the record & cd expo was happening right that very afternoon.  Sushi smushi – records win every time.  So, I ended up spending quite a bit more than I would have on sushi, but I celebrated in good company.

Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Little Anthony and the Imperials, The Left Banke and more…  It was like Thanksgiving dinner – my ears’ tastebuds were beyond satisfied, bellies full and ready to take a nap while being sung to sleep by Nat King Cole’s “Stardust.” 

Funnily enough, the first thing I thought
when I saw this photo was, "OH MY GOSH -
my wrist and arm look NORMAL!"

This time, however, my belly was literally stuffed (but not too much) with tuna, yellowtail, salmon, and other lovely little bits of cucumber, avocado, cream cheese and asparagus.  With a healthy dose of wasabi, of course.

After treating myself to the records when I hit 40 pounds, I decided that it was much more satisfying rewarding myself with non-edible things.  But, my “Faux Aunt” Peggy texted me Monday and asked if I wanted to get sushi. 

Yes.  Yes I would.  And I did.  And it was delicious and wonderful. 

I guess, of all the edible things you could splurge on, sushi isn’t the guiltiest of pleasures.  Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself…  But, it was fun hanging out with Peggy and having this well-deserved treat.  And, hey – if I can’t reward my progress with a treat after breaking the 70 pounds mark, when will I?  It was one of those times where I had to lighten up, stop overthinking things, and enjoy.

The funny thing is, the next day I woke up and felt different.  I felt lighter, actually.  SO, I weighed myself and I really was lighter.  Two pounds lighter.  It doesn’t count, though – not until my official weekly weigh in on Monday morning. 

The point is, the world does not end because you treat yourself every once in a while.  And I needed some delicious fish and that extra little weigh in on Tuesday morning to remind me of this. 

So, here are some photos to celebrate me having moved on from the hippies, and being forced into disco.  I’ve got leg warmers, spandex and neon headed my way soon…  Just you wait.  

My new size 16 jacket from Mom!
Got it at Sears.  Sears'll surprise you...

Shirt from Old Navy
Already too big!

Size 18 Style & Co jeans from
Macy's. Also loose!

Little Victories and Black Eyes

There are little things I do all the time that I would've been too hesitant to do before losing weight.  Sometimes I realize while I'm deciding to do something I haven't done in a while.  Sometimes it's a happy surprise right while I'm in the midst of it.  And other times, I don't realize until afterwards.  Whichever it is, it's always satisfying.  Pushing yourself is rewarding.  You simply must try it.  

"Like what?" you might ask...

Well, Sunday afternoon it was playing on the playset in my parents' back yard like I was five years old again with my five year old cousin.  Up, down, all around.  In the fort, out of the fort.  On the swing, off the swing.  

And...  I got to introduce my little cousin to swinging upside-down.  That adorable little goober will never look at a swing set the same way again.  

I would have been way too timid to do it before.  But now?  What-ev.  It’s not that I was too scared to be upside-down, I just felt less in-control of my body and what might happen.  There was a whole lot of me to handle!  I have so much less self doubt, and so more much physical freedom.  

My little cousin and I ended up swinging, feet up in the air, so that each time we'd swing back, we were facing each other.  So, I said, "Helloooooo, sir!"  And then it went a bit like this...

Me: "Helloooooo, sirrr!"

...swing...

Him: "Hellooo!"

...swing...

Me:  "Mighty fine day we're having, yes?"

...swing...

Him:  "Yes! Are you having a good day?"

...swing..."

Me:  "Yes, indeeeed!"

...swing...

Him:  "Me, tooo!"

...swing...

Me:  "Perfect day for swinging upside-down don't you think?"

...swing...

Him:  "Yes!  Helloooooooo!"

It.  Was.  GREAT!!!  Oh, man, do I ever love kids.  And upside down silliness.  

In all my grand, childish bliss, I did manage to forget how all the blood rushing to my face for - ehhhh, quite a while, could result in blackish eyes and a handful of small blood vessels breaking in my face.  Oh well - well-earned battle scars from my latest little victory!

No-Guilt Yum-Yum for Your Tum-Tum

This morning, while deliriously flailing my arms about trying to kill my clock that had just startlingly interrupted a comatose sleep, there was a “BANG-BANG-BANG!!!” on my door.  Then, I heard my roommate’s cheeky four-year-old voice saying, “Hey Saywuhhhhh, wanna go for a walk and get Starrrrbuuuucks?”  I didn’t know what the heck was going on, but some conscious part of me knew that it sounded like a great idea. 

So, today's been a great day thus far; a walk in the rain, Starbucks, and then lunch, all for less than 380 total calories. 

What’d I get at Starbucks? 
Venti Iced Americano with Splenda and 3-4 tablespoons of skim milk.  Total:  45 calories.

Don't fear me!

What’d I eat for lunch? 
Avocado Tuna Salad sandwich and a cup of watermelon.  Total:  333 calories.

Avocado Tuna Salad Ingredients (serves 2):  

1 whole avocado, delightfully squished with a potato masher
2 tablespoons of Kraft Light Miracle Whip (tastes equally good with Light Mayo)
1 can of tuna in water
2 Earthgrains 100% Multi-Grain Thin Bun
10 cucumber slices

Can I make a lunch for fewer calories?  
Yes.  But, I know that I need to incorporate things like avocados that are full of healthy fats, essential vitamins and even more potassium than bananas.  I'm trying to be healthy, not just lose weight.  I love it because it’s a filling, wholesome, balanced lunch.   And it’s just plain yummy.  

Now, it’s workout time.  Hope you’re having a good day, too.